


Moving On

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e22 Two Cathedrals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-26
Updated: 2002-07-26
Packaged: 2019-05-15 09:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Post Ep toTwo Cathedrals





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

A storm passed through that night. It was one of those freak occurrences for which meteorologists have absolutely no explanation. Amazingly enough, it passed through without causing any kind of damage. Later, one person would wonder if hadn't been God's tears over the lapse of one of his devoted sons. It had been a fleeting thought, but it had been a powerful one. The storm was mostly over now, just the stray remnants remained. Inside the White House, in four different rooms,the resolution to a different storm played out. The elements of that storm were faith, trust, strength, loyalty and friendship. At times the elements of the storm were separate, at other times intertwined. But they all had to come through this storm on their separate fronts in order to come through it together.    

* * *

      Inside the Oval Office, President Bartlet paced the room, alone with his thoughts....

  I'd hate to think of what I would have done if she'd never been part of my life. There were a lot of times in my life that she was my compass, my rudder, the righteous kick in the ass that I needed. If she hadn't come along I might of wasted a lot more time trying to get the approval of a father who wasn't inclined to give it. I might have been  bullied out of doing what I thought was the right thing to do. That was the funny  thing about her...she could disagree with you, but as long as she thought you believed in what you were saying, and not just being cowardly or giving in to outside pressure, she would respect you for your convictions. Respect from Delores Landingham was a precious thing indeed, because she didn't give it lightly. It was like those cookies...the staff considered it a wonderful thing to be given one of those cookies. It was like a gold star on your report card. It meant that you were on the right track- doing the good and right thing. In short- it meant that she was proud of you. That my friend, could make you feel ten feet tall, it made you feel like you could conquer the world- or at least save it.

  Leo was right when he said she was a real dame- she would have rolled her eyes at him and made some sort of smart-aleck comment- but I think she would have been secretly pleased. Coming from Leo, that's a hell of a compliment and she would have known it. She and Leo would tease the hell out of each other- like brother and sister, which really is not that unusual since Leo is as much if not more of a brother to me than my own and Delores was most certainly the sister that God gave me when my parents failed to do so.

  So now I must face what lies ahead without my rudder, my compass, my friend, my sister. Or am I really without her? I heard that no-nonsense voice in my head this night...the night of this awful storm that amazingly has caused almost no damage at all. Tonight  I have come as close as I ever hope to be to forsaking my faith and my sense of conviction. Suddenly I heard her - that no-nonsense, practical, straight from the hip voice of hers. I could hear her understanding and disappointment in equal measures. She was letting me know that God hadn't been punishing me or her, that things happen and you get up and dust yourself off and you do what you have to do. She was letting me know she was there and so were a lot of other people and even if she was only there in spirit- she had taught me some good lessons early in life and it was about time I remembered them. While she no longer sits at that desk outside my office and harangues me about eating properly and the things she thought I always refused to learn to do, I hear her...in my heart and in my mind. I see that a little of her lives on in those around me- my family here. Leo, Josh, Charlie, Toby, Sam, CJ, Donna...all of them, here with me to weather this storm. Looking to me for direction, giving their support and strength. No matter what I have lost, I am still blessed with having had it at all and for what I still have. It's time to embrace that and move on to what comes next.

* * *

  Inside the Chief of Staff's office, Leo worked quietly and alone, though his thoughts were with his friend...

* * *

   Toby walked down the hall to Leo's office and stuck his head in the door.

   "You got a minute?"

   "Yeah, come on in." Leo answered, never once looking up from the papers in front of him. His glasses were low on his nose and he looked like he could use about a good weeks sleep. For that matter, they all did. Toby dropped down on the sofa and crossed his arms in front of him. Finally Leo looked over at him.

  "What?"

  "You plan on having the meeting tonight?" Toby asked.

  "Nahh, I think I'm going to get everyone together before the morning briefing. We've all had a hell of a couple of days. Everybody could use the rest."

  "It's probably best." Toby replied quietly and continued sitting there.

  Leo watched him for a little while before he took his glasses off and tossed them on the desk.

  "You got something to say Toby?" Leo asked, but he pretty much knew where all this was going. Toby still had a bug up his ass over the Summerhayes offer. Toby knew it had been a test and Toby was still pissed.

  "I'm getting tired of the tests, Leo." Toby stated, and unless you knew Toby, the softness in his voice would have belied the ferocity of his emotions.

  "Well, I'm sorry about that Toby, but I did what I had to do. What's more, I'd do it again and in my place, so would you."

  "You think so?" Toby asked, his expression unreadable.

  "Yeah, Toby. In fact I know it. He's under the gun from so many directions and he needs to know that the people he'll count on will be there or he's going to retreat. He'll go inside his head and think of all the reasons why it's just too damn much to fight against."

  "And you couldn't have just assured him that I wouldn't bail out on him?" Toby asked, incredulously, his voice rising with each word.

  "There's a difference between hearing something and knowing it." Leo replied calmly, looking Toby in the eyes for a long moment. Willing him to understand. They needed to move past this and Toby needed to be alright with it when they did. None of them had time for hurt feelings or hidden grudges. Their solidarity and strength had to be something that the President could rely on without fail.

    Finally Toby shook his head and with a wry smile turning up with corner of his mouth, he spoke.

   "You ever get tired of being the gatekeeper around here, Leo?"

   "Yeah, Toby...I do. But since there's one less of us now, I have to be even more vigilant." Leo replied somewhat grimly. Toby knew that he was referring to Mrs. Landingham and the important part she had played in President Bartlet's life.  While Toby didn't know as much about the history they shared as Leo did, he knew how much the President had always relied on her not always so quiet strength.  He knew they had all lost something with her passing and that  her passing would leave them all with a void that would be almost impossible to fill. Leo was right- his position as gatekeeper had just gotten a lot tougher.

 The thing that Leo needed to understand  was that they all had done their turn guarding the gate and they all wanted Leo to understand that he wasn't the only one who cared about the man he so diligently protected.

  "Leo...you're not the only one...We all miss her and we all want to do our part to pick up where she left off. You have to know that." Toby  said, standing and coming to the edge of Leo's desk. After a long moment Leo nodded.

  "I do know Toby. It's just hard... Anyway, I know. Look, go home. We're going to have a hell of a day tomorrow. Tell everyone to get a good night's sleep." Leo replied, returning his glasses to their perch on the edge of his nose and picking up the papers he'd been going over when Toby walked in.

  "Okay...see you in the morning." Toby said walking to the door.

  "Toby?" Leo called after him.

  "Yeah?" Toby answered turning back.

  "I knew you'd  stay...and I'm glad I was right." Leo stated with a fond smile for his friend.

  "Yeah...Leo?"

  "Yeah?"

   "Next time, just ask me. Okay?"

    "Next time I won't have to. " Leo replied and turned back to his work. Toby shook his head and closed  his door on the way out.

* * *

  Inside the Deputy Chiefs' office, two people lost in their own thoughts, waited for what would come next...

* * *

   Josh and Donna returned to the office that night after the press conference. CJ had asked  Josh, Toby, and Sam to hang around for a while in case Leo wanted to pull together a spin session for any possible questions that would be coming in the wake of the President's announcement and Josh had asked  Donna if she would stay. She, of course, had agreed.

  So they sat in Josh's office, Josh behind his desk, his head thrown back in thought as he rocked the chair absently. Donna sat in the visitor's chair, her heels kicked off under the chair and her damp stocking feet propped on a corner of Josh's desk. It was an oddly silent moment between these two people, who were normally in some sort of conversational mode. Finally Donna broke the silence.

  "She would have been proud of what he did tonight." She declared with a slight smile.

  "What?" Josh asked, breaking out of his own thoughts.

  "I said she would have been proud of what he did tonight." Donna repeated, looking closely at Josh.

  "You think so?" Josh asked, not bothering to ask who she was referring to.

  "No- I don't think it...I know it. She knew him better than anyone, I think. Even better than Leo. She knew that no matter how hard the road ahead was going to be, he'd always take the right one. She would have been proud. I bet she's smiling that little, reserved smile of hers right now."

  "Where is this coming from?" Josh asked, honestly intrigued by the direction of her thoughts. The funny thing was that he'd been wondering what his father  would have made of all of this. His father had had a keen legal mind, and he knew what could be done within the limits of the law,but he loved to see a guy fight the underdogs good fight.

  "I was just thinking of Mrs. Landingham and what the President did tonight. It was brave and it was right. That's why she would have been proud... Don't you think it was right?" Donna asked, leaning across the desk, looking closely at Josh.

  "It's not that simple... Am I glad he decided to stay and fight? Yes...yes, I am. Is it going to be easy? Hell, no. I think it's going to be the hardest thing he's ever had to do." Josh replied, answering her with all possible honesty. Optimism was fine, but right now they needed raw, unvarnished honesty between them. Somehow what he said seemed to have the opposite effect on Donna that he expected. She nodded, as though he had confirmed her thoughts.

  "That's why she would be proud of him. " She replied with authority.

  Josh smiled as he looked at her. Donna, the Donna he saw was an enigma and very few people saw how truly special she was or the depths of her strength and loyalty. In a lot of ways she was like Josh imagined Mrs. Landingham to have been at her age. He wondered if President Bartlet had seen the same fire, determination and intelligence in Mrs. Landingham when he met her as a young man.

Donna looked at him then with a smile and said. "I'm proud of you too Joshua."

  "Me? Why?" Josh asked, confused but wearing a pleased smile.

  "Because you're going to help him, of course." Donna replied, giving him a look that clearly let him know he was asking the obvious. "I'm going to go check the wires," Donna said getting up and padding across the nearly deserted bullpen in her stocking feet. Josh watched her go and thought it was a good thing he was a long way away from facing life without her. He was just sorry the President had to face the days ahead without his Mrs. Landingham, and hoped that in their own way they  could each help fill the void.

* * *

   Inside her office, the Press Secretary seeks sanctuary from the turmoil that's to come...

* * *

  CJ was curled up on the sofa in her office, enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasted. All too soon, her office would be the eye of a media hurricane that could potentially last for months. The peace and quiet she was enjoying now, she would have to savor for a long time to come. Just for the moment she would clear her mind of all thoughts of future op-ed pieces in the major papers, sound bites on "Face the Nation", "Capitol Beat" and the myriad of other news shows, pundits and talking heads who would crawl out of the woodwork and from under rocks to verbally crucify the President. She knew it wasn't nice to hope for a national emergency of some sort, but the distraction would be nice. Of course, it would have to be a really big national emergency to end this particular news cycle from hell. Even though the President had decided to stick it out and fight, it didn't change the fact that if this wasn't  handled with the utmost care that it was going to make Watergate look like a weekend at Club Med.

  Wait, she thought, these are exactly the kinds of thoughts I'm not supposed to be having. So having given herself that stern reminder, CJ nestled into a corner of the sofa and tucked her afghan around her feet and closed her eyes. That particular respite from reality lasted all of five minutes. It was interrupted by someone having the audacity to knock on her door.

  "What?" She yelled from her spot on the sofa, hoping whoever it was would be suitably intimidated and go away.

  "Uh...CJ?" Sam muttered from the other side of her closed door.

  "Yeah?" She answered, not yet inclined to grant an invitation to enter her sanctuary.

  "Can I come in?" Sam asked, not exactly in his usual 選'm kinda' scared of CJ' voice, but close. CJ muttered something that sounded like yes.

  Sam stuck his head in, testing- "You sure?"

   "Come on." CJ sighed and pulled her legs over in unspoken invitation for Sam to take a seat beside her.

   He didn't say anything for a long moment and when he did it wasn't quite what she was expecting.

    "Do you get along well with your father?"

    "Yeah" CJ said after a moment of surprise, "As well as any independent minded unmarried woman, living three-thousand miles away can get along with her father." Sam smiled a little at that.

  "Does that mean he'd like you back in Napa, married with a couple of kids and driving a Volvo?"

  Sam smiled again, at the mental image that invoked.

   "No, it means he'd like to see me more often and he wants me to be happy." CJ replied softly.

  "Are you happy?" Sam asked, looking at her as though the answer to that question could answer so many others.

   "Most of the time... What about you?" CJ asked, watching him closely.

   "I've been better. I was happy he decided to stick it out. He needs to be here and more importantly - the country needs him here. We need him here." Sam stated with conviction.

   "You're right. I just hope the rest of the county feels that way." CJ replied, making the wish a silent prayer.

   "They'll understand...and if they don't- if they forget how good of a man he really is- we'll remind them." Sam replied and his conviction and determination were even stronger this time.

  "Yes...yes, we will."

    They were both silent again for a long moment until Sam spoke again.

   "I was thinking today...when we were at Mrs. Landingham's service...I was thinking that you never know how things are going to turn out. You never know when's the last time you'll have to say something important to someone."

  "You getting maudlin on me there, Sparky." CJ asked, trying to tease him out of this dour mood he seemed to be stuck in.

   "I prefer introspective." Sam answered, with a shadow of his usual smile. "You haven't called me 全parky' in awhile..." Sam observed.

  "Only when I need to." CJ quipped in return.

  "We haven't been getting along too hot lately." Sam looked at CJ closely when he said this, gauging her reaction, hoping she wouldn't shrug it off with a one of her witty little rejoinders.

  "No....No, we haven't." CJ admitted, deciding that it was about time they addressed this.

  "Why is that, do you think?" Sam asked.

  "I think we've both been pissed and we've both been scared." She stated simply.

  "At what and of what?" Sam asked, giving her a funny look.

  "The world, our circumstances, the fact that the President didn't tell us sooner, that he has this illness, that it has the power to destroy everything we've done or tried to do...everything that we want to do and haven't had the chance. I think we've been afraid most of all that it's going to take us all away from each other- in one way or another." CJ ended, looking weary at this particular bit of introspection. She'd been through this a few nights ago, with herself.

  "So, why just us? Why  have you and I been trying to nail each other lately ?" Sam asked, getting a little exasperated.

  CJ thought for a minute and then answered.

   "The President and Leo have each other, Josh has Donna- and I really don't want to delve into that too closely, if you don't mind. Toby and I are a little to skilled at the art of thrust and parry to wade into this particular mine-field with each other. So, that leaves you and  me, pal."

  Sam looked at CJ for the longest moment, then away, as if he was digesting everything she'd said. When he looked back the smile that was beginning in his eyes was a little more like the old Sam.

  "Is that actually what you think or is that just a lot of semi-artfully crafted bullshit?"

  "Hey, I'm the White House Press Secretary- I don't bullshit. I arrange the facts in a pleasing and beguiling display." CJ responded, in a mockingly superior tone.

  "That sounds an awful lot like bullshit to me..." Sam countered, really smiling this time. He was enjoying being able to tease CJ again and CJ was enjoying being teased .

   "So, we okay, Sparky?" CJ asked, sobering a little.

   "Yeah...but you know what CJ?"

   "What?"

   "May sucks ." Sam said, thinking of a year ago- to Rosslyn, this year with the President and Mrs. Landingham.

   "Well, even if it does a little, we came out of it before and we'll do it again. We just remember how we got here and we'll do it again.

   "Yeah...I guess you're right. Last time the odds were against us and we beat them. We can do it again. Even better this time. I'm going to go home. I'm glad we talked, CJ"

  "Me too...Now go home Sparky and get some rest." CJ said smiling at Sam and almost giving into the impulse to give him a hug. For a second he looked like he was going to do it himself, then he got up and walked to the door. "'Night CJ." and she heard him whistling as he went down the hallway back to his office. CJ got up from the sofa and began to gather her things. It would work- they would make it work. For the President and for the country and for each other. That's what families do- they stick together.

  
  


The End


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